Thursday, May 05, 2005

A Poem That Only Enlightened People Can Appreciate

This is
a
poem
that only enlightened folks
can appreciate.

It has no metre
You
think
it
does but then you're just not getting into it are you
logocentric cave
dweller
that you are

Here is a pointless
stanza
'cuz I can't think of anything for the moment.

Am I seen
as intellectual yet?

If not
you just don't get it
man
I'm being
hip
ironic
just like the guys in black turtlenecks
at the local
coffee
house

You might be able to play
your bongos to this poem
but you have to
be
really really stoned
to get the inner meaning

Poststructural analysis
yields untold symmetries in this poem
that connect Marx and Derrida to the neo-globalist post-colonial paradigm
I don't know what that polysyllabic nonsense means
but that Greenpeace chick sure ate it up when I spoke those words

If I throw in some anti-Semitic slurs
then can I
be a poet
laureate
of a state?
It worked for that guy
in New Jersey

Wow I'm cool
Especially when sipping my latte

It is not posing
when you're a gifted intellectual like me
you can write
crap and
more crap
and people won't call it
what it is
because they
want
to
be
intellectual too

Come to my studio loft downtown
and check out my
art collexion

Note the alternative spelling above
I'm fighting
the
male sexist tyranny of normative spelling
because i care

i'm a sensitive guy

[This wonderful poem was inspired by the Mother Goddess. Or, perhaps it was due to indigestion from hitting the Taco Bell drive-thru an hour earlier. Perhaps it was inspired by both.]

haha fooled you
I made you think the poem was over
we call that
contextual juxtaposition
in that class I took
at
the Learning Annex
see you really are stupid
that is why I'm smug
you just
don't get it
you probably vote
Republican since
you're illiterate

The Mother Goddess is leaving me
and the indigestion too
the poem ends
for now

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is an NEA grant in there somewhere! I know it!

Thursday, May 05, 2005 2:25:00 AM  
Blogger Pedantic Protestant said...

OK, this poem is completely overboard. Can you imagine seeing this sort of silliness on a fairly regular basis due to university life?

If people like this stuff, it is a free country. I just can't stand the pretension behind it, as if the person who "gets it" has some priviledged insight into Truth and Beauty.

Time for a few positive entries.

Thursday, May 05, 2005 2:29:00 AM  
Anonymous 1689 said...

My rule on poetry: 90% of those who write poetry shouldn't. 90% of those who PUBLISH their poetry shouldn't.

I am in both those demographics, having published some poetry while at university.

Saturday, May 07, 2005 11:37:00 AM  
Blogger Pedantic Protestant said...

The main thing that irks me is the whole pretense and aire of superior intellectuality behind such poems.

Some poems are quite lovely, but, in my own subjective opinion, many poems are not, and, to top it off, the literati take such poems and make them hallmarks of sophistication.

Saturday, May 07, 2005 12:02:00 PM  
Anonymous 1689 said...

Posing annoys me too. Spurgeon said the following:

I went to the top
And fell down plop

That is poetry

I Went to the top
And fell down bang

That, gentleman, is blank verse.

Saturday, May 07, 2005 12:16:00 PM  
Blogger Pedantic Protestant said...

The rule seems to be: if normal people can't understand it, it's art.

Another rule seems to follow as a corollary: if in addition to perplexing normal people the work of art offends them, it must be subsidized!

Monday, May 09, 2005 10:19:00 PM  
Anonymous 1689 said...

Or given a prestigious prize/award. Usually named after a real artist.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005 8:37:00 AM  

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