Friday, June 24, 2005

Seeing Your Augustine and Raising You a Luther

Taken from a link provided by the barrister of braggadocio, the systematician of sola snarka , yes, the one and only archfiend Red Romanist, I took the "Which Theologian Are You?" quiz.

Anselm 87%
John Calvin 87%
Martin Luther 87%
Karl Barth 80%
Augustine 60%
Jonathan Edwards 53%
Friedrich Schleiermacher 40%
Paul Tillich 27%
Charles Finney 20%
J├╝rgen Moltmann 0%

PP Commentary:

(1) These quizzes are to be taken quite nonseriously, given how reductionistic the questions are when they're clear, as well as the fact that some of the questions are unclear or loaded in their wording.

(2) This is the second time I took the quiz. The first time I took the quiz, I was rated as a 100% Barthian. I'm not sure what this means exactly, but I'd probably need to find a new set of friends, as well as a new wardrobe/hairstyle.

(3) Instead of saying that I'm in 87% agreement with, say, Martin Luther, it seems preferable to say that according to this quiz the good Dr Luther is only 87% correct.

I may as well get it off the chest: Luther and Calvin are mere men, not the arbiters of Protestant truth. They too are judged by and under the sacred scriptures, and they have just as much potential for error or blind spots as the next person. The case for Protestantism stands or falls independently of Luther or Calvin. This may very well be news to some even on the Protestant side, yes, even in the academy. The question is not Is this consistent with the Reformers' views but instead is Is this position, in reality, true.

(4) Moltmann must be one very mixed up theologian.

(5) My take on theologians is that many of them are not particularly bright individuals, but instead have a stock set of jargon and speculations which are foisted on the public. I think modern theology should be relabelled as "humanistic speculation" or something more accurate. In fact, I'd go to the complete end of things and just say that theology is merely a facet of philosophy. But such a thought is not taken well in our over-compartmentalized academic world, where facets of a discipline are regarded in their own rights as different subjects.

(6) What theologian would the PP most want to emulate? Answer: St Paul. Paul of course had an unfair advantage over the rest of us, given that God revealed and taught him directly, whereas we today have to try to understand what Paul meant at whatever sticking point arises. But, unlike most of the ivory-tower theologians I've seen, Paul put his theology into practice.

(7) Having 27% in common with Tillich is 27% more commonality than I'd like to have.

(8) Favorite ambiguous statement in the quiz: "The papacy is a tool of the devil."
Which papacy? The early bishops of Rome, such as Clement and Linus and perhaps Peter if he in fact was a bishop there? Or do they mean the corrupt popes of the late Middle Ages? What exactly do they mean?

Favorite obvious demarcational statement: "Holy Spirit revival is what the world needs today." Again, what is meant by revival? Are they referring to things like my charismatic high school, where revival meant speaking in tongues and showing forth charismata? Or are they talking about the Holy Spirit's bringing men CALMLY to a conviction of their sinfulness?

[Note: while certain parts of Roman Catholicism make the fur on my tail fluff out, anything charismatic sends me into an immediate paroxysm of rage, complete with 360-degree head spins, levitations, and speaking backwards!]

(9) Anyway, the quiz brought forth a chuckle, and now we can forget about it. Readers of this blog [that means you Centuri0n] are invited to take the quiz and post their results. If the CC was not a member of the Legion of Doom [as compared to my Superfriends' Hall of Justice], he'd get a now-legendary PP Coffee Mug. Instead, he gets a tee-shirt that says "I had a link stolen by the PP and all I got was this lousy t-shirt."


Blogger centuri0n said...

Here's what happened to me:

Anselm 100%
Karl Barth 93%
Martin Luther 67%
John Calvin 67%
Jonathan Edwards 67%
Friedrich Schleiermacher 53%
Paul Tillich 33%
Charles Finney 33%
J?Moltmann 27%
Augustine 20%

It is somewhat appalling to be 93% Barthian. I think the quiz author didn't know what he was talking about.

Monday, June 27, 2005 7:50:00 PM  
Blogger Pedantic Protestant said...

There are also stability issues with the quiz. The first time I took it, I was 100% Barth. The second time I took it, with answers on the ambiguous questions that were hardly different from the first time, I got the results posted above.

Oh well, it was a fun little lark.
Thanks for sharing.

Now we have to figure out how to make this blog sexy.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005 5:01:00 AM  
Blogger centuri0n said...

(1) Counter
(2) You start commenting on other blogs -- blogs you don';t normally visit.
(3) You start hnadling someone personally -- find someone you think requires an apologetic assist, and assist him (or her).
(4) And make some enemies, for Pete's sake. You're like "the pal-making Protestant".

Tuesday, June 28, 2005 7:50:00 AM  

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