Friday, July 22, 2005

There Is No God

I went out to buy some new running shoes this Friday afternoon, and while opening the glove compartment, the latch that keeps the glove compartment door shut just gave out and broke.

That isn't a big deal on paper, but there is the fact that there was no feasible way of keeping the glove compartment door shut, which meant that the compartment light would stay on, which meant that the battery would quickly die, which would mean that I'd have to procure alternative transportation to the campus come Monday and have to pay not only for a new glove compartment door, but also for a new battery.

As this great evil occurred late this Friday afternoon [when it would be too late to take the car in to a Chevy dealership] I tore my garment and sat in an ashheap scraping myself with shards of broken pottery. After this, I tried for 90 minutes or so to take out the bulb, but it was behind a bunch of other things. So, I spent another 45 minutes trying to find a garage that would take out the bulb, so that I wouldn't have to worry about the battery running out.

The garage was found, and things are on the mend. However, this took about 3 hours of life planned to do other things, such as, for example, write a blog entry [probably "Pedantic Politics 3"] that would've been interesting, say, responding to Frank's points in a comment below, as compared to advertising my newly found atheism immediately after this bit of impersonal evil shook my worldview.

If God were to exist, I wouldn't have had this travail. But, I had this travail, and an argument by contraposition thus shows in airtight fashion that God doesn't exist. I suppose we'll be changing this site's name to Alliterative Atheist soon.

[EDIT: I changed the title but forgot to change the first paragraph, so, yes, the 80's Q*Bert reference did not belong with the new title. The original title of the post was !@#$%%^&*, which should ring a bell for Q*Bert players. I also noticed a disturbing lack of consistency in verb tenses used. Those have hopefully been fixed.]


Blogger Phil Johnson said...

I have a two-word theodicy that may save your faith and your snactification next time you are subjected to such a hellish trial:

Duct tape.

Saturday, July 23, 2005 8:27:00 AM  
Blogger Jason Engwer said...


In one of your future blog entries, would you expound upon the differences between snactification and sanctification and what role snacks play in the Christian life?

Jason Engwer
New Testament Research Ministries

Saturday, July 23, 2005 9:33:00 AM  
Blogger Pedantic Protestant said...

Ah, but the Chevy dealer expressly forbade duct tape, lest I get permanent sticky stuff on the dash.
Combine this with the 100+ degree heat and the fact that I park outside, and you have a dashboard full of goo. That would probably push me from atheist into Scientology.

Finally, I am fully snactified. That is the problem, for which many inches must be shed.

Saturday, July 23, 2005 12:13:00 PM  

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