Saturday, August 20, 2005

Trinitarianism in Haiku Form [A PP Klassic]

Calling an entry a "PP Klassic" despite the blog being only about five months old isn't any different than the situation where a band releases one album, falls off the face of the earth, and then somehow, years later, some K-TEL or Ronco Records promo releases a "Greatest Hits!" collection for the aforementioned band.

My muse has today off, and there are weights to lift, tennis matches to lose, and, yes, a wrestling show to attend [don't ask]. Perhaps I'll fittingly complete the day by crushing a can of Schlitz on my forehead while watching roller derby.

Anyway ---- getting serious [relative to the above, at least!], here's a PP Klassic, where, most artistically, I state my Christology, which is thoroughly Biblical. Why put this up? Because, frankly, I consider deep philosophical discussions of Christology beyond certain very basic points profoundly useless from any sort of practical perspective, though such discussions have an honored place in both Romanist, orthodox, and Protestant traditions. There was a time when, having studied my dogmatics, I could throw around the philosophical jargon with the best of them, and, unlike some of them then and today, (a) do it a bit more humbly and (b) know of what I was speaking.

So, forever desecrating the Haiku form [so says Frank and the Haiku experts out there] and showing the world why I'm a mathematical statistician instead of a poet, here goes nothing:

Jesus is true man
But He's full of deity
So He's God as well

The Father is God
Did you even doubt that fact?
If you did you're toast

Who is the third guy?
Oh yes, the Holy Spirit
Totally divine

Jesus is the Son
He's not the Father, okay?
Sabellius, not!

Spirit is distinct
Neither is he Son nor Pop
Please don't confound them!

We stop at this point
The rest is speculative
Proceed at great risk!


Blogger patrick said...


Just some advice, in case you're new to the world of beer can crushing: it's important to _drink the beer_ before crushing the can on your head. Trust me on this one.

Sunday, August 21, 2005 12:16:00 PM  
Blogger Pedantic Protestant said...

Patrick --- yes, I'm a can-crushing neophyte. You sound knowledgeable on this point, and your advice is well-taken.

Sunday, August 21, 2005 9:27:00 PM  
Blogger patrick said...

Well, since you're open to advice, let me also suggest you go with PBR instead of Schlitz.

Monday, August 22, 2005 9:32:00 AM  
Blogger Pedantic Protestant said...

To be honest, while I am as complete an instantiation of Rom 1:18-3:18 and Rom 7:14-24 as any man, I've never had the slightest inclination for beer or alcoholic beverages.

BTW --- I'm pretty anti-teetotalism, so people lighting up or downing whatever [or smoking whatever] don't offend my conscience a la Rom 14. The simple fact is that my outer vices --- Chinese buffets, soda pop, picking on Frank Turk, etc, don't carry a possible stigma within certain circles.

I've had something like three beers all calendar year, and each time I had the beer it was only because there was no "Diet Coke with Lime" in the fridge and I wanted something fizzy.

So, I ask you, what is so great about beer? Is the bitter taste refreshing? When you've grown up with soda and Gatorade, beer tastes like paint thinner.

Monday, August 22, 2005 11:42:00 AM  
Blogger patrick said...


Well, my posts here were intended to be funny rather than serious. But I will nevertheless answer your question about what's so great about beer.

First things first. Beer, like any other marvelous thing, can be done poorly. Let's compare. You might ask me--"what's so great about music?" And I might say, "well, if by 'music' you mean 'the music of Britney Spears,' then the answer is 'nothing at all is great about it.' If, however, you mean 'the music of JS Bach,' then there are any number of things that are great about it. Let me elaborate..."

Similarly, if you ask "what's so great about beer," and you're really asking "what's so great about Budweiser or Schlitz or Miller or PBR (or virtually any other major American brewery's pilsner)," then the answer is "nothing." Nothing's great about Budweiser. It tastes bad. (There's a great Monty Python line about the similarity of American beer to making love in a canoe. But we needn't get into that here.)

If, however, you're asking what's so great about some fine, craft-brewed, India Pale Ale, then there are any number of things that are great about it, though at the moment I lack the mental energy to try to elaborate on that claim. It may be that fine beer is an acquired taste. But it's a taste worth acquiring, like the taste for any of the other finer things in life.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005 9:45:00 AM  
Blogger Pedantic Protestant said...

About your Britney Spears comments, Patrick, you're really putting your foot in your mouth if option O in the pictures above is true.

So what you're saying is that if I slog through enough good beer, I'll begin to like it?

But even if I did that, Diet Coke with Lime is a jealous beverage, a stern beverage, and I wouldn't want to cross it.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005 10:27:00 AM  

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