Saturday, August 20, 2005

Who Is the Pedantic Protestant?!?!?!

This upcoming week is going to be rather hectic both regarding work as well as getting some thoughts together for some more serious posts. It wouldn't be right to merely vanish, so it seemed right to give readers --- both friend and foe alike [I doubt I have any real foes] --- something to ponder over the next few days.

To accomplish this, here are fifteen photographs, labelled "A" through "O." It is quite possible that, just maybe, one of these photos is a photo of yours truly. On the other hand, dogmatism is not becoming of readers either. Is this an elaborate prank, or is this insight in to my not-too-secret secret identity? You'll have to ponder that.

A. Perhaps I really am a somebody acting like a nobody when he blogs. Wouldn't that be funny!

B. Maybe I'm from another planet and have battled Captain Kirk. I do get a bit aggressive from time to time.

C. Could it be? A double life perhaps?!

D. On the other hand, I seem to be on rather good terms with Dr Svendsen at NTRMin. Perhaps we're really the same person.

E. This blog goes for shock value at times, and it might not be surprising if this is me. I have a sensitive and thoughtful side, after all.

F. Roman Catholics and progressives might think I utilize the Dark Side.

G. Perhaps this is really me....but then the name of the blog isn't really appropriate, eh?

H. Blogging is a rather totalitarian exercise at times.

I. I often have to change from one thing to another in real life. Maybe I'm the leader of the Autobots: Optimus Prime!

J. But isn't the guy below the PP Hunk of the Year? Naming myself "Hunk of the Year" would be really narcissistic, would it not?

K. Maybe I'm Satan. Maybe not.

L. In many ways I wish I was Steve Hays. Every good thing on which to blog seems to have already been done by him. For this I hate Steve Hays. Really.

M. If this is me then I have awful choice in wallpaper, and that may very well be a damnable sin.

N. Maybe I'm an amoeba, as I've said multiple times that I'm a pretty simple guy.

O. Hey! Like, being a pop diva gets really boring between shows, and, you know, like, you just can't find a good discussion on objective versus subjective genitives with your handlers, so, when I'm like not singing and necking with Madonna, I pass the time with commentary on progressivism and general Protestant issues. Such issues are, you know, like, so toooooootally important, y'dig? Not as important as, you know, like, a choice of halter top to show off my midriff, but, like, you know, they're still sorta, like, important.

Speculate to your heart's content, dear readers!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

In case you didn't know the KISS guy is wearing a tongue extension. Hair extension too.

Sunday, August 21, 2005 5:02:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you're the KISS guy you already know that.

Sunday, August 21, 2005 5:02:00 PM  
Blogger Pedantic Protestant said...

Well, I've been rumored to have been overheard singing "Rock and Roll All Nite" in the shower.

Sunday, August 21, 2005 5:27:00 PM  
Blogger centuri0n said...

I happen to know FOR A FACT that it is "O". He's married to Kevin Federline -- and that explains everything as far as I'm concerned.

Sunday, August 21, 2005 6:14:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I get a vibe that 'M.' is the Pedantic Protestant. M. or N., but I'm going with M.

What's with Dave Armstrong and that open-mouth smile that's not really a smile? Am I being too critical to point this out? He has other photos of him with the same look. (To be ecumenical about it Jason Engwer has a similar one.) At least that CenturiOn knows how to compose his mouth for the camera. Is he perhaps the new James Bond?

Sunday, August 21, 2005 6:14:00 PM  
Blogger Pedantic Protestant said...

If option N is true, then I don't think being unicellular is the slightest thing about which to feel any shame. Some of my best friends are unicellular. Some don't even have a nucleus, either, but I accept them for what they are.

Sunday, August 21, 2005 9:25:00 PM  
Blogger centuri0n said...

While I have been approached, and I am the right age, I have declined to be the next James Bond.

Monday, August 22, 2005 3:29:00 AM  
Blogger centuri0n said...

As I was looking at this post at a decent hour of the day, I noticed that Gene Simmons, Satan, and Dave Armstrong all have the same gape-mouthed pose -- with varying degrees of tongue being foisted upon the camera.

Coincidence? I think not.

Monday, August 22, 2005 9:30:00 AM  
Blogger Jonathan Moorhead said...

I was expecting to see Napoleon Dynamite’s photo, but then I remembered he is Centuri0n’s sidekick, JIBBS. I know, the thought is revolting.

Monday, August 22, 2005 10:22:00 AM  
Blogger Pedantic Protestant said...

Jonathan: Frank apparently found me not up to snuff when he was interviewing for sidekicks. During my auditions, he made Simon from American Idol seem nice by comparison.

Monday, August 22, 2005 4:14:00 PM  
Blogger Jonathan Moorhead said...

According to TTLB maybe he should be your sidekick! Sorry Cent :-)

Tuesday, August 23, 2005 7:16:00 AM  
Blogger centuri0n said...

You all condemn yourselves by your scoffing.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005 11:49:00 AM  
Blogger Pedantic Protestant said...

You totally know you're a complete nobody --- nay, "nobody" is too kind a word --- when a killer post trading in mystery and titillation like this only draws 12 or so comments, and a few of them are mine. :-(

I may as well be Picture N, sniff sniff sniff. Wait'll I write about this in my Precious Moments diary!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005 3:04:00 PM  

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