Sunday, October 09, 2005

Pussycats & Popery & Pedantic Protestants

Isn't it annoying to go to one of the blogs you like to check out [like this one :-) ] and, in lieu of a thought-out and substantive post, you see some "I like my cat 'cuz" post presented with the attitude of

(i) My cat is the greatest cat in the whole wide world.
(ii) Have you ever seen a cat before? Well here's a picture!
(iii) You totally care about my cat[s].

In reality, cats are smelly little hairballs who track litter around the floor and are both lazy and selfish little imps who only come to you when they want something.

But, ah, sweet Thomas, [more formally St Thomas Aquinas] is not your typical smelly little hairball known to many as "a cat." Instead, he is a very gentle and loving little cat who lives for humans who are rough with his tail while scratching his smoky-white tummy. Yes, he's a good cat. He has the roughest little purr, and, like a dog, he makes it known that he likes good lovin' just for its own sake. Also: do you know how cute it is to see a grey tabby with little white paws having pink pads? You probably don't, but, trust me, it is an endearing sight.

Unfortunately, Thomas is a Cat'lic cat. A Polish Cat'lic cat. You see, Diane [my former Polish RC landlady] got to him first with all that talk about popery, veneration of saints, statues, purgatory, capital-T Tradition, etc. Next thing you know, Thomas was mewing such things to me as "Sola scriptura isn't in the Bible!" and "You got your Bible from the Roman Catholic Church!" and "NOT by faith alone!" I'd walk into the living room and find Thomas stretched out in front of the EWTN-blaring tv-set, watching Mother Angelica and "Monday Night Rosary" and that gameshow where, by answering trivia questions about RC history, Catholic contestants win indulgences and time off from purgatory. And Thomas allegorizes and typologizes far too much [to say the least].

But, these obvious character flaws aside, both in Thomas and Diane, how could I resist either of their charms? Husky-bodied grey tabbies with a Snaggletooth-face have a lot of capital built up, by which capital they can get away with murder, whether using my bed as a litter box, clawing my legs, using my chair as a scratching post, or viewing every reference to tradition and church in the scriptures as appplying to RC Tradition and the RCC.

So, in accord with a request from Diane, and not, as it might be surmised, that I'm too lazy to do anything more substantial today, here is a post featuring the Angelic Tabby, St Thomas. Why am I doing this post? Because I'm a caring sorta guy, that's why; behind the bookish demeanor lies an overly sentimental softie who, like Bill Clinton, feels your pain and just wants to have a group hug with the world while singing Kumbaya.

And for both Diane and Thomas, who often wonder if I visualize dropping them into vats of boiling oil from time to time [or, in Thomas' case, a KFC x-tra crispy 10-piece family bucket], I say: "Loathe the Romanism, love the Catholic, whether furry or bipedal." Yuppers, that's what ol' PP says!


Anonymous Diane said...

Thomas says that while he loathes the Protestantism, he loves PP.

And, he wants to remind you that it is always a bad idea to leave your clothes on the floor and an animal locked in your bedroom for hours.

Monday, October 10, 2005 7:42:00 AM  
Blogger Pedantic Protestant said...

Touche, Diane......touche.

Monday, October 10, 2005 12:19:00 PM  
Anonymous Diane said...

Thomas also states that he misses arguing the finer theological points with you. It's no fun arguing with Gus or me because we agree too much.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005 2:13:00 PM  
Blogger Pedantic Protestant said...

Yes, I recall arguing with Thomas over just how many angels can dance on a can of Little Friskies Captain's Seafood Platter once, and I was most impressed with his proofs of God's existence based on arguments from hairballs.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005 3:55:00 PM  
Anonymous Abu Daoud said...

Notwithstanding the objections to RC theology are you willing to state that many of them are indeed Christians (born-again and all) and that some of them are indeed more faithful and obedient than you are?

Just curious.

Greetings form the Middle East...

Friday, October 14, 2005 2:15:00 AM  
Blogger Pedantic Protestant said...

Abu --- yes, I'm easily willing. I have the same standard as I do for Protestants in this matter.

Saturday, October 15, 2005 11:30:00 PM  

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